Talk About Space and Self-Love

source: pinterest

Breaking up sucks. Especially when you still love him.
The memories you shared with him seem to follow you wherever you go.

In the beginning, waking up was the hardest part.
Some mornings, I’d wake up feeling sad.
The next day, I’d feel angry.
Another day, I might feel relieved.
It’s confusing.

But we all know that every breakup happens for a reason. It’s never easy, and most of the time, we don’t know what to do with all the emotions.

I was in a relationship with my ex for three years. Not a short time, right?
Over those years, we created countless memories and shared so many dreams.
It’s strange how time can feel meaningless when someone you love hurts you so easily, like nothing you had ever shared really mattered.

At first, I kept thinking about all the good things.
How kind he was.
How hard we tried to make it work.
Our beautiful memories.

Our relationship wasn’t perfect, but we took time to understand each other. We learned to accept our differences and eventually grew comfortable with one another. That’s why it’s so ironic how something once beautiful can end in pain.

After the breakup, I realized something important.
I had lost myself in that relationship.

The person I was before I met him and the person I became while I was with him were not the same. With him, I created a version of myself who made him my priority. I was completely invested and, honestly, pretty blind to everything else.

I now understand that loving someone that deeply, while natural, isn’t always healthy. It happens to a lot of people when they’re too in love. They forget to love themselves too.

Dealing with that pain was incredibly difficult, especially when the person you love means the world to you. At first, I couldn’t talk to anyone about what I was feeling. I didn’t know how. Admitting that I had failed was hard, and I didn’t want anyone’s sympathy, so I kept it all to myself. I held everything in, and it hurt deeply.

Still, I prayed. Every single day.
I asked God to make me feel better.

But even then, I still found myself praying for him.
I prayed that he would be okay.
That he would find his way back to me.
That he would remember what we shared and realize it was too precious to throw away.

I prayed so much that I forgot to take care of myself.

Eventually, I realized it was draining me more than I could handle. I told God that I was tired, that I just wanted to feel better. And for the first time, I felt sorry for myself.
For allowing my heart to break quietly.
For not protecting my peace.
For giving love so freely but leaving none for me.

You owe yourself the love you so freely give to others.

It took time, but I began to realize that I matter too. If I truly wanted to heal, I had to let go of what was hurting me. I had every reason to be angry, but the longer I held onto that anger, the more it consumed me. So I chose to let go.

Letting go of the toxic thoughts didn’t happen overnight. But I discovered that questioning everything and holding onto anger would never help me heal. Not everything in life needs to be understood. Sometimes, it just needs to be accepted.

After all the denial and overthinking, I moved on to a new phase.

Rebuilding.

This time, I committed to doing whatever it takes to find myself again. Not the version of me that existed in a relationship. Just me. I started working more, challenging myself with deadlines, and pushing past my limits.

At first, I didn’t want to talk to anyone about how I felt. But slowly, I began opening up. I reconnected with old friends, met new people at work, and confided in the ones I trusted most. This time, I was more selective. I learned that not everyone deserves access to my inner world. And more than anything, I gave myself permission to feel happy again.

Healing isn’t easy. You have to face your emotions, your beliefs, and the reality of the situation. I’m not saying I’m fully okay now, but I’m trying. Every morning, every hour, every second.

Some friends suggested that I find someone new. Someone who could love me better and help me move on. So I tried. I let someone get close to me.

But it didn’t feel right.

Because I realized something important.
New love isn’t the answer.

I was still haunted by the past, and I didn’t want to hurt someone else in an attempt to fix myself.

So I chose another path.
I focused on healing in my own way.

I worked harder, met new people with different views, learned from them, laughed with my friends, traveled, prayed more, expressed gratitude more often, made a bucket list, and set new goals.

Space changed everything.

Space gave me clarity.
It helped me understand what I truly need.

If one day I’m ready to be in a relationship again, I’ll know the kind of person I need, not just the kind I want.

Space helped me recognize so many beautiful things.
It protected others from being my emotional distraction.
While some people cope by finding someone new, I chose to find myself.

And you know what?
It feels really good to be in love with yourself.
To feel free.
To be independent.
To live for yourself again.

Space helped me evaluate the things I should and shouldn’t bring into my next relationship. I stopped waiting for someone else to bring me happiness. Instead, I decided to build happiness from within and cherish the small, beautiful things around me.

And here’s the message I want to leave for anyone who might be struggling to move on.

After feeling lost and broken for so long, here you are.
Finding your way back to yourself, slowly, softly, gently.

You’re blooming.
You’re breathing.
You’re healing.

Darling, you were never truly broken.
You were simply learning to come home to yourself.

Forgive yourself.
Forgive others.
Take the time to figure things out.
Give yourself the space to grow, so you can finally see what you truly need.

Space and self-love are the best kind of love.

Thank you for reading. I know this was long, but I hope it reaches whoever needs it.